I'm trying to understand prayer and praying.....

OK. You say you pray to God. Is that right?
Oh, yes. Of course I do.
Hmm. Have any of your prayers ever been answered?
Ahh, what do you mean?
You do speak English, don't you? Have any of your prayers ever...well, been answered. That's the way you put it, isn't it? Prayers answered?
Yes, you got that right. Prayers answered.
Well........
That's kind of hard to answer.
OK. Let's try again. Did you pray for anything last year?
Oh, of course. Many things.
Now we're getting somewhere. Now, pick one prayer that was answered and tell me about it.
Hmmmm. Well, I'm sure you know that not all prayers are answered.
Wow. OK. Not all prayers are answered. Now, who determines which ones are? Like is there a committee or something?
You shouldn't mock God. That isn't funny.
OK. OK. So, God decides on all prayers, is that what you're saying?
Of course.
Again. Which of your prayers were answered?
Well, sometimes prayers aren't answered right away.
OK. Let's just say that I agree with you that sometimes prayers aren't answered immediately. It takes some time. Why?
Why what?
Why does it take time? Hey, God's all great and powerful, right? I mean that's getting into that miracle stuff.... Soooooooooo, trying again. If God can do all of that.....why would he answer a prayer that had a time factor. You know. Well, as an example. Let's say someone who you love dearly is in horrible pain from cancer. OK. With me so far?
Of course.
Now, you pray to God. Please relieve the suffering of _____________. Still with me?
Yes, of course. I'm not an idiot.
OK.
Now, let's say God thinks that's a worthy prayer or whatever term you want to use. OK. And, that God says he will relieve the suffering of this person who you love dearly; however, he ain't doin' it right now. Nope, he'll relieve the suffering in six months. What would you think about that?
Like any Christian, I'd be grateful to God and sing his praise and continue to worship him.
Gee whiz. Hmmm. You wouldn't be pissed that he was going to make your loved one suffer for another six months?
Of course not. You don't get pissed at God.
OK. You don't get pissed at God. Why would he make this person wait six months for the pain to be taken away?
I don't question God. He would have his reasons.
Oh. He would have His reasons. Do you have any idea what these reasons would be?
I don't speculate about what God does or doesn't do.
Could ole God be testing you?
Could be.
And, how would that help anyone...this test.
Well, maybe God just wants to make sure that I believe in him and am praying to him.
Wow. Would you repeat that please. Say it again slowing and please listen carefully to what you're saying.
OK. I repeated it, now what?
Did you listen to what you said?
Yes. Of course.
Do you think it's OK for God to withhold relieving the suffering of your loved one because He wants to see if you're still praying?
Well, I'm sure you know that God works in mysterious ways?
OK. I'm almost at a loss as to what to say. Let's try something else, OK. Same basic scenario....good person and suffering. Person is suffering horrible pain...a good person...a person who prayed everyday...went to church five times a week...gave 50% of her salary to the church...was a volunteer in the community....taught Sunday school....never drank or smoked...had no vices...never committed a sin...and so on. OK?
Yes, I understand.
Now, you pray to God to relieve her suffering. OK? And, nothing happens...her suffering continues and for three years she's in excruciating pain...and then of course dies. Why wouldn't God answer a prayer for someone like this? Hmmm?
Wait. Wait a minute. Listen to me. I do appreciate you answering my questions. I do. However, do not tell me God acts in mysterious ways. Yes, I know you're 6' 5", 30 years younger than I am, in good heath, and 235 pounds....but if you say that once more my 5'8", 160 pound, old body is going to try to beat the crap out of you.
Hmmm. I can see you're getting...ah...frustrated. Hmmm. OK. Well, you know, it could be the Devil...Lucifer....you know. The one from the dark side.


(to be continued)

Help me make sense of this......

OK.
We're told God is great. God is good. God cares for all of His people. God is merciful. And, so on.
Now.
We're also told that this all powerful and knowing God will beat the crap out of us and make us burn in hell forever if we don't believe in Him. Wow, did someone get up on the wrong side of the bed, or what?
I think some folks say that if you're not baptized that you go to hell. Hmmm. Let's see. A baby is born. And, sadly and tragically, shortly after birth dies. Now, is God sending this baby to hell because the baby wasn't baptized?
Hey, how about some of the poor folks who live in the ran forests and such and have never heard of God. When these poor folks die do they burn in hell? Now, assuming for the moment that there is this God...and that yes, he would make these folks burn in hell forever because they didn't know of him and as they didn't, would have no way of throwing in with Him, so to speak. Wow, does that seem fair to anyone?
And, how about our mentally retarded who just don't have the capacity to understand things like religion....how about those folks? Same answer? I would assume. Yep, truck 'em off to hell. But, but....ahhh, they had no way of knowing. They are innocent human beings with a horrible disability (oh, almost forgot...did God do that?....wow, wouldn't that be something....he makes mentally retarded people knowing that they don't have the capacity to understand about Him...and then shoots those folks to hell....hmmm...talking about ironies and what would seem a gross misuse of power. ....). Too bad. The hell with them. They should know the rules.
Folks....and...let's see.....you pray to this guy. Wow. Is this kind of person you'd invite over for dinner? Is this the kind of person you'd let babysit your kids? Hmm....